Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Tugging at My Heart Strings

My children are loved by so many, we don't take it for granted.   We are blessed!

It is hard to believe that someone wasn't staring into those beautiful eyes for 14 months.   He has come a long way!!

I heard Bei yell my name "Mom!".   I immediately went into the bedroom to see how he was doing.   He had been home sick from school for two days with Strep Throat.   I quietly said "I'm here, are you okay?"   He immediately burst into tears when he heard my voice.   I held him and stroked his back.  Eventually, I asked him if he had to go potty and he nodded.  I carried his 50lb body into the bathroom and brought him to the toilet.   I then carried him back to bed.   I stroked his hair, his back, while he gently fell back to sleep.     This past weekend, Kai was sick with the same thing.  My concerns for Kai are febrile seizures.   I watch him like a hawk, which is always easy since when he is sick he won't let me put him down.   He sleeps on my lap and clutches my clothes like he is hanging on for dear life.   Making sure that I don't put him down for a moment.   Dan asks if I am exhausted, beat from all the energy given to the two sick little ones.   Oddly, the answer is always no.  It is times like these that make me thankful to God, that I have the opportunity to care and to love these little guys.   It pulls at my heart strings when I think about a little 7 year old in China with strep throat with nobody to call out to, nobody that is going to carry them when they need the extra boost, nobody to stroke their back gently to fall back to sleep.  It makes me sad to think of all the Bei's and Kai's left in China without any mommy or daddy to make things better for them.    I hardly can think of Kai's time in China and the neglect that he endured.  Having seizures and nobody consoling him, loving on him.   His lack of eye contact is something that we still work on to this day. Nobody looking into those beautiful eyes for 14 months just saddens me.   It all pulls at my heart strings.   It is days like these that not only do I ache for my own children's sickness but all those children in China that will never have an opportunity to be held and loved  and to experience the joys of having their own mom and dad.       

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